The Art of War

Now is the time for war. I hate war. I much prefer to be civil. To keep a certain amount of peace. I do not like to fight dirty. I do not like to fight. I like to remain a peaceful person. This doesn't mean I don't know how to fight. Oh, I know how to fight, and I can fight with the best of them. I can play dirty. The point is that I don't like to. It isn't inherent to my nature. I enjoy peace, but I also recognize when it is necessary to go to war. When this happens, you had better hope you are not the one in opposition of me. I am very capable of destruction when necessity calls for it.

Now is the time to begin to plan for war. Destructive, brutal, callous, cutthroat, unrelenting war. Niccolo Machiavelli, who was known for aiming to deceive and manipulate others for personal advantage, once said "War is just when it is necessary; arms are permissible when there is no hope except in arms." At this point, this is how I feel. My husband is a master at manipulation, and now his mother is working to manipulate me as well. As much as I don't want to battle, I know now is the time. There is no hope except in arms, so to speak.

I've now realized that my husband will fight. He will fight me using any and every angle he can. Why? Because he thinks he owns me. He does not want to give me up. He wants to possess me. He wants to keep me. To keep control of me. He is consumed by this desire to attain what is now unattainable. Me. He is a fighter. And he feels entitled to what he wants.

"Whenever men are not obliged to fight from necessity, they fight from ambition; which is so powerful in human breasts, that it never leaves them no matter to what rank they rise. The reason is that nature has so created men that they are able to desire everything but are not able to attain everything: so that the desire being always greater than the acquisition, there results discontent with the possession and little satisfaction to themselves from it" -Niccolo Machiavelli

Machiavelli is often made to sound like a heartless, almost cold-hearted man. Maybe there is truth to that, but I also believe he had a way of seeing the flaws in mankind that others are too afraid to see, or too afraid to admit that they see.

The above quote does not just pertain to my husband's ambition and desire to attain me, but it also pertains to my ambition and desire to attain things too, though the things I desire are much more abstract. I desire to attain freedom, happiness, and possibilities for the future.

True war began yesterday on our son's 5th birthday. My husband and I still had a joint checking account which I assumed we would keep using at least until divorce papers were served. I just deposited $2000 of my money into  it on the 30th of September. On the 4th of October, before restraining order papers were served, before divorce papers were served (they still haven't been) get this, my MOTHER-IN-LAW withdrew over $1500 to start my husband a new checking account. Then yesterday closed the account entirely and took the remaining money in it, which was over $600. When I opened my new checking account, I only withdrew $200 to do it. I was never going to try to financially ruin him. Apparently his mother wanted to ruin me though. She basically stole $2000 from me. She has been listed on our bank account because she was on my husband's account when we got married, and I just never thought it was a big enough deal to remove her from our account.

Here's where the manipulation comes in though. I have been avoiding contact with my husband because all he does is tries to convince me to come back to him. I'm sure he was in on this bank account thing with his mother. Obviously he was since they started a new account for him. But I've realized something. This wasn't just about taking my money. It was a ploy, and one I fell right into. I have been ignoring every text, every phone call, every attemp on his part to contact me. When i found out about the bank account, I was so furious that I called to bitch at him. In hindsight, that is exactly what he wanted. He then had the opportunity to try to talk me into coming back once again. He didn't succeed in that, but he did succeed in upsetting me further. So i walked right into his trap.

From now on, I need to keep one step ahead of him. I need to scrutinize his moves and understand exactly why he is doing what he is doing, because believe me, everything he does at this point is a manipulation and has a ulterior motive behind it. It is time that I start playing my part in this war. He knows very well what he is doing every step of the way. Now I need to know not only what he is doing and why, but I must know what I am doing every step of the way and be very careful and thoughtful and methodical about it. Going back to Machiavelli, I need to stop proceeding with emotion, and instead proceed with thought, logic, and force. After all, one "...must determine all the injuries that he will need to inflict. He must inflict them once and for all."


War really is an art. It requires thought, planning, and precision. I haven't been fighting the war very well. I have disclosed much too much of the truth. And I have proceeded according to feelings and emotion rather than rational thought. But now I am ready. I am ready to to go to war. I am ready to plan my strategy and keep it secret until the moment a move must be made. Then I will be able to make that move with full force while the enemy is unguarded. It is time to fight dirty.

"No proceeding is better than that which you have concealed from the enemy until the time you have executed it. To know how to recognize an opportunity in war, and take it, benefits you more than anything else." -Niccolo Machiavelli