The In-laws are Coming! The In-laws are Coming!

So my son has his dance recital Saturday night. Somehow, my husband's whole family will be able to make it. yay. Did you hear the sarcasm in that yay? It was there. I promise. I would never say yay for real about anyone coming here. Especially my husband's family.

They're not bad people, they're just the opposite of me, and some of them don't take hints, and well, I'm too polite to straight up tell them what I think. Though after 5 years of things going unsaid, there is a part of me that would like to punch them sometimes. And I've never punched anyone, ever.

This is Granny-in-law with Hubby

Sister-in-law with her family

Mother-in-law with my boy, old, old granny, hubby, and me

List of Annoying In-law Habits:

1) MIL always does laundry, organizes cupboards, and tries to line up household projects for me while she's here. Yes, it sounds like a nice gesture, but I am CEO of this household and I don't want anyone trying to teach me how to keep it clean. Not to mention, I can never find anything after she leaves. To combat this problem, I have thoroughly cleaned the house and folded all clean laundry and put it away. cupboards are organized, I even vacuumed under the furniture.

2) Granny-in-law harasses me about not calling her. ever. I thought she would get the hint after 5 years that I don't want to talk to her. I've made it pretty obvious to any sane person. I don't even like talking on the phone to ANYONE. Chances are, if you call, I will not answer my phone. I only answer my phone to relay important messages, or to arrange a time to talk in person. Most of the time though, I do my socializing on the internet. Tell granny if she wants to talk to me to get a facebook account. Actually last time she saw me using facebook she asked what it was. I responded that it was a social networking site. She then proceeded to ask me if it was some kind of computer game.

3) Granny-in-law and MIL come into my household and pray, and tell my child lies about God and Jesus and if there is a holiday, yep, we get religious presents. I don't think they even know what a Buddha is. I have 6 of them in plain sight when you enter our house, along with malas and other Buddhist symbols. I also don't think they notice that I leave the room every time they mention The Lord, God, Jesus, or church. Seriously, I'm not subtle about it. My son has children's books about meditation, and Buddha stories for children. I may not be the best Buddhist, but I'm Buddhist, and raising my child with Buddhist principles. My husband seems to be without a religion. When they give my son books about God over and over I pack them away. We are not a Christian family. I am not ashamed of it. I don't want to have to come out and tell them because it seems obvious to me that they should have figured it out by now. I think they just choose not to respect my religious choices because they believe their religion is the right religion, and their poor grandson/great-grandson is destined for Hell because of his evil Buddhist mother.

3) The hugging. Yuck. I am not, I repeat NOT a touchy-feely person. I have a large personal space bubble. I hate people touching me. I don't really even like to hug/cuddle with/be held by my husband very much, and I love him dearly. Last time I was around Granny-in-law, I nearly hit her. It was a fight-or-flight response. I walked in the door of my MIL's house and there was Granny, so I gave her the obligatory hug. That bitch bear-hugged me and WOULD NOT let my go. She was bear hugging me against all her old lady fat, and talking directly into my face, like an inch away. I could feel her breath. Worse, I could smell her breath. No one wants granny breath in their face, I don't care who you are. To make the whole situation worse, she was harassing me about not calling her while trapping me in a bear hug and talking an inch from my face. Seriously I don't even let my husband do stuff like that. If you ever meet me, please don't touch me. And don't expect me to talk to you on the phone. Grandpa-in-law is almost worse. He hugs me in a creepy way, I swear. he hugs me so tight I can feel my silicone boobies squishing against my chest. He also talks about 3 inches from me, and seems like he always wants to put his hands on me. His excuse for being a "close-talker" is that he is hard of hearing. I don't buy it. He has hearing aids. Those should help. I think Gramps is a bit creepy. I think MIL has figured out for the most part that I don't like to be hugged, but I still have to hug her. At least she makes it quick. Though, when we do the "goodbye hug" she always starts crying. I also don't appreciate people crying on me.

4) My sister-in-law acts like she's better than me. The first time I met her, we were both pregnant, and she was really rude to me. The second time I met her, we were still both pregnant, and she made it perfectly clear that she didn't like me. Things have gotten a bit better over the years, but first impressions tend to stick, and my first impression was that she was a total bitch.

I could probably go on and on, but those are the main things i hate about the in-laws, and I have to go get ready to take dance portraits this afternoon.

Thanks for reading. Do your in-laws have habits that drive you crazy? Leave a comment telling about the annoying things your in-laws do :)