So my 4 1/2 year old boy has been terrible, and mean, and awful to me lately. Not to anybody else, just me, his boring old mom.
He can be the sweetest boy on earth, and this sweet boy is the one most people see. He looks like this:
Wait! Don't let that sweet smile fool you. He treats me like his personal slave. Whippings and all. (sorry, did I cross a boundary there? it's okay to talk about slaves but not whipping slaves? okay, I apologize.) His new favorite thing is to scream at me that he wants something "RIGHT. THIS. INSTANT!!!!" It has not been good. I've tried everything. Spanking him. Ignoring him. Yelling at him. Explaining that he isn't being nice. Time-out. refusing to meet his demands. Giving up and giving in to his demands. Nothing worked.
Finally today, I was picking up his toys while he watched me and had a snack because he informed me right away that he wasn't going to help, he was being mean again, and I broke down. I used the harsh truth against him.
As his mother, I know that this mean, rotten kid actually loves me more than anything and is very, very attached to me. He gets jealous that I share a bed with his daddy and not him. He is already dreading preschool because he will have to be away from me. Before going to Grandma's house, he gets nervous and cries and says he doesn't want to leave me.
So today, when I was doing his slave labor, and he was pissed off that I gave him veggies and ranch dip as a snack instead of pop-tarts, I said this:
"You know, someday Mommy is going to die, and be DEAD, and be gone forever. YOU will be sorry for being so mean to me. I always try to be nice to you."
He got real sad, and started eating his veggies, and helped me finish picking up his toys. He has been nice to me ever since.
I can't say it was a strong parenting moment. I was desperate, and I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to say those kinds of things to your 4 year old, but it is the only thing that has worked, and it does happen to be the truth.
So, for now, we are buddies again.
In my house if my kids don't want to clean up their toys, they dissapear. They don't like that so they pick up their toys.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up!
i'm a new reader, and i'm really enjoying your blog so far. i love your honesty- no one else ever talks about what little shitheads their kids are, and the rotten things they do to them! i find myself in these situations all the time. we do the best we can, right?
ReplyDeletep.s. i don't think your twitter "follow me" button down at the bottom of your blog is working, fyi- was tryin' to make sure i followed you on twitter (i'm notblessedmama)
ReplyDelete