Being the Other Woman

I spend a lot of time on twitter. Hell, I spend a lot of time on the internet in general, and I've noticed a trend of sorts. Seems a lot of not-so-happily-married people are involved in internet romances. I mean twitter crushes are perfectly normal right? Everyone has them. Even the married people. Okay, perhaps not everyone, but a lot. I see it all the time. But what happened in the days before social networking was really a thing? Did married people still stray? Did married men see a hot young woman and think "damn, I'd like to hit that!"? The answer is of course they did! People are only human, and thus prone to imperfection. Monogamy is hard, especially when you're not getting along with your spouse super-well. In real life, I was "the other woman" several times, usually just for a fling, but once I made the mistake of falling in love with a married man... who also happened to be my boss at work. Here's my story of how infidelity goes down in real life.

I started college at Central Washington University which is located in Ellensburg, Washington, a smallish rodeo town. I dated college guys for awhile, but after living there a few years I started being more interested in the locals, the working men. I had a boyfriend that I really liked. He was a carpenter and his family were cattle ranchers. I myself was a little bit country with big belt buckles and cowboy boots (ok, I still dress like that sometimes.) Anyway, his name was Josh. But it really bothered Josh that he was out working hard, barely getting by, while I sat around and did nothing, but had everything. He dumped me. I really wanted him back, so I started looking for a job. I worked in a hardware store through high school, and I knew my way around a hardware store. I applied for jobs a bunch of different places, but I got called in for an interview at a hardware store. Perfect. i had worked at a hardware store in high school. And the manager was a good-looking 24 year old guy. His dad owned the place, but he was in charge of hiring me. To my interview I wore a low-cut top, tight jeans, and heels. Boom, I got the job.

So the first week I started working there, my new boss was telling me about how his wife was out of town for a week and he would be bored because he didn't have many friends. I didn't have any friends left at that point really, so I said hey, we could be friends. He agreed, and that weekend he asked what I wanted to do. I suggested seeing a movie and going for drinks after. We went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and went to his favorite bar, The Tav, after the movie. We drank beer and laughed and giggled all evening. When the bar closed, we said our goodbyes, and went home. It was the perfect first date even though it had not been a date. A couple nights later he came over to my apartment and we drank and watched a movie in my bedroom. We were in my bedroom because I had roommates, so our bedrooms were like our personal living quarters. At some point I remember lying next to him giggling, and I looked over at him and said "you should probably go." He asked why. I told him that if he didn't go, I think we would end up kissing. He didn't go. We ended up kissing. We ended up having sex. And it was GREAT sex. I mean there was chemistry. It was mind-blowing. Best ever.

Work got a lot more fun after that. It was an old building, and there were back rooms, storage rooms, attics, places to sneak away everywhere. We texted each other all day every day, even at work. I followed him around at work under the guise that he was teaching me things, training me. We did do work together, and we joked and laughed, and had the greatest time. We also sneaked around making out, and having sex on the clock. We'd sneak upstairs for a blow-job or a quickie. If the workday got stressful, we'd meet each other in the storage room for a quick makeout to relieve stress. We had sex all over that store during, and after business hours. One time after hours, we had sex right on the floor in the middle of the store, and we giggled every time we walked by that spot the next day.

Things aren't so simple when someone is married though. One night at my place I said something about how if we kept it up, I was going to start falling in love with him. He said he felt the same way. So in love we fell. Some things got rough after that. His wife would stop by the store all the time and I'd hide and cry. He would come find me and apologize as soon as she left. I got to be an emotional wreck at work, but I got away with everything because after all, I was sleeping with my boss. I'd get to work, clock in, and then leave to go get coffee. He'd put extra hours on my timesheet for me.

I hid upstairs and cried almost every day. I was in love with a man I couldn't have. His wife was nothing like me. She was fat and plain. They met after high school. He said he felt stuck, but loved me. I started drinking even more heavily than before. One time I got so drunk I had to leave my truck parked at the bar and take a cab home. I worked the next morning, and I called him to get a ride to work. As my boss he wasn't happy that I still reeked of alcohol and was severely hungover, but as my boyfriend he turned a blind eye. I started spiking my morning latte with schnapps. I started drinking beer at lunch. I went from work straight to the bars. I would get upset on nights he had to spend with his wife, and I'd go to bed with a bottle of vodka to drown my sorrows.

At one point his wife ended up in the hospital for something, and instead of staying with her, he hung out at a park with me. We were addicted to each other. I couldn't help it. He couldn't help it. We started having close calls though. He knew everyone in town. People started seeing us together. Coworkers started talking about the way we smiled at each other. His grandma caught him hugging me in the break room. The pressure got to him and he broke it off with me. I quit. Without a 2 week notice. I quit, and moved back to Montana the next day. He ended up telling his wife. He is now divorced.

I never did get Josh back. And My boss kind of destroyed me.

When the time came that I needed a letter of recommendation, I got one that I couldn't have written better myself. Because I did write it, and he agreed to sign it. See, there are perks to sleeping with your boss. But for the most part, it wasn't worth it.

I never ever thought I would be stupid enough to be the other woman and think that a man was actually going to leave his wife for me. Married men NEVER leave their wife for their girlfriend on the side. Never.

Life lesson learned.