Have You Ever... (severe depression version)

Last night ended in a fight with my husband, and I ended up more severely depressed than I have been in a long time. Have you ever been this depressed?

Have You Ever:

...cried until your eyelids were so swollen and puffy that you no longer recognized yourself?

...looked in the mirror, but saw no one looking back at you, just a blank stare?

...cried until you shook uncontrollably?

...felt so alone that you felt like the only person on the planet?

...upset yourself so much you vomited for no good reason?

...thought of every possible way to kill yourself?

...felt like the world would be better off without you?

...looked at a picture of your beautiful child and felt nothing?

...been afraid to close your eyes because you would be left in the darkness?

...felt completely worthless?

...felt like your life is bound to self-destruct?

...felt as though you're acting your way through life?

...wondered how you can possibly find the strength to go on?

...had an out-of-body experience?

...wept for your dead father?

...no longer felt like a human being?

...felt as though you've irreparably messed up your life?

...understood how people could commit suicide?

...cried so hard you couldn't breathe?

...let your nose run all down your face, but didn't care?

Don't worry about me, I've been there before, and I always know better than to actually off myself. I could never do that to my family. Even when I feel that depressed, I know that it won't last forever, that I can't know what is around the corner. I always keep a tiny bit of hope with me, even when I feel hopeless. I always know anything is better than death, and death is permanent, there's no taking that back. I'm okay today, recovering from my Hellish night last night. This severe depression goes along with being bipolar, and it's a feeling I've learned to live through.