About Me

My photo
Flathead Lake, Montana, United States
This wasn't supposed to be my life. Or maybe it was. But I'm pretty sure it wasn't. Confessions and general rantings of an ex-party girl.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Love/Hate Relationship with Psych Meds

I am finally stabilized on medications and psychologically I feel great. I feel like a normal person for once. If I get upset, I can get over it instead of spiraling into depression for days. I feel calm most of the time which is a new feeling. I have been able to fall asleep at a decent time instead of tossing and turning all night and then sleeping half of the day to make up for it. I've been getting up at 6am like a normal person. For the most part, things have been great.

Here's the thing I hate about being medicated though. I'm on 5 medications that I take several times daily to control my psychological issues. I have to take other medications just to control the side effects of my regular medications though. The worst side effect is high blood pressure and tachycardia (fast heart rate). I haven't been taking my blood pressure medication because it has terrible side effects itself, including sexual problems, which I just can't handle. 

Today I started to just feel awful for no reason though. I finally took my blood pressure and it was through the roof, like scary scary high. 172/124. For reference, normal blood pressure is less than 120/80. Okay, it was obviously time to take my blood pressure medication. So I took it, and an hour later, it was still just ad high. So I took some more, and took my Klonopin to relax a little and I took a little nap. I woke up and took my blood pressure again. It was down a little, but still very high. It shouldn't be, and that worries me, and worrying makes my high blood pressure worse. It's something I've dealt with on and off for years. Only when I'm on my medication. The worst part is I can feel my heart, and it feels like it hurts. I have had this all checked out, but tests were pretty much inconclusive.

I'm always asking myself, would I rather be psychologically healthy, or physically healthy? Because it seems I can't be both. I'm only 27, and I don't even want to think of all the wear and tear I've put my internal organs through from medications.

Such is life. I'm rolling with the punches, but I would feel a lot better if my diastolic pressure would drop below 100.

1 comment:

  1. hey Love, I'm guessing your BP med is a maintenance kind, meaning it WON"T have an immediate effect. Possible next time you see you doc see if he'll give you a few pills incase you "forget to take your BP med again.
    Mine was in that elevated range once during an asthma episode. ER thought I might stroke, so ya careful dalin
    Enjoy your blog and you.. Tootles and such, Sweet Cheeks.

    ReplyDelete