Childhood Drinking

Hello, my name is Jenny and I'm an alcoholic. Yes, I've uttered those words in a group-type setting before. They are probably true words. I started drinking in high school. I started drinking heavily at the age of 16, and by the middle of my senior year of high school I was drinking daily. Yes, daily. Many days I drank beer at lunch time and then went back to school. I used to go to youth group and have a beer or three or 10 afterward. I was everything you hope your teenage daughter doesn't grow up to be.

I am a self-made alcoholic. No genetics here. I didn't grow up with an alcoholic parent or grandparent. I grew up being harassed and made fun of by my peers. I hid behind alcohol at a very, very young age.

I met the man who is now my husband our senior year of high school. I was drunk walking into a gas station, and I tripped as he was coming out of the gas station. He caught me, and I caught him. He was most likely drunk AND high at the time. I remember I stood there, wrapped my arms around him, looked into his eyes, and started making out with him. Yes, this is how we met. My best friend at the time then pulled me away. She was also drunk, and was telling me that he had a big girlfriend who was going to kick my ass, which actually was not true, she was mistaken.

So we hung out the next night after we got the girlfriend thing straightened out. It was a Wednesday night, and we were supposed to be going to youth group, but instead, we went out with these guys drinking. The guys got us all liquored up, and took us to the weigh station. Not very smooth. I wasn't impressed. Still, my friend and her guy went in the men's room to... um... get it on. I stayed in my future husband's truck with him and, well, okay, everyone got laid that night. Super romantic huh? But that was an average Wednesday night for me in high school. I was living with my best friend and her parents since mine had given up hope on me by that point. That particular night I think we made it home by 1am. Yeah, youth group lasted forever! I don't know why, but we really didn't get into too much trouble that particular night. And, yes, I still smelled like alcohol when we went to school the next morning.

I started drinking young, so I had to grow up fast and learn some rough life lessons before most people did. I was in jail for DUI, reckless driving, and hit and run, while still in my senior year of high school. I ended up only being convicted of the DUI, but was sentenced to 5 more days in jail for that.

When I went to college, I drank even more. I drank to blackout almost every night. I sold marijuana from my dorm room. I didn't go to my classes. I was pretty much just a drunk. I had to go to alcohol classes once when alcohol was found in my dorm room. We took a survey about how often we drank and how much. I will never forget my score claimed that .02% of college females drank as much or more than me. Let's see, I was drinking at least 6 drinks per weeknight, and probably 12 drinks on Fridays and Saturdays. I made a rule among me and my friends that we should only drink between the hours of 5pm and 5am. There were a couple times where 5am rolled around, and after drinking all night, we would put our drinks down and go to bed.

I ended up with a very unlikely boyfriend who didn't drink at all. He helped me stop drinking. And I married him to keep myself out of trouble. I got married at 20. Still not even old enough to legally drink, yet I had already been a daily drinker for a couple of years. That is a big part of the true story behind why I got married so young.

The plan backfired though, when we got divorced, I went right back to drinking, and dropped out of college, and moved back to that small town in Montana where I went to high school.

Even when I found out I was pregnant, the first thing I did was poured myself a glass of wine, sat down, drank, and thought about my options. That is when I decided to get married the second time. I was pregnant with his baby. And after that glass of wine, it was very difficult, but I gave up drinking for the rest of my pregnancy, and I still rarely drink to this day.

It is no wonder I am a little bit off, a little bit screwed up in the head. I grew up so quickly. Married at 20, divorced at 21, pregnant at 22, remarried at 22, and became a mother one day after my 23rd birthday.

I think today I will give myself a break for not being perfect, because after all, things could have gone much, much worse. I'm playing the hand I dealt myself, and am having a fabulous time for the most part. Today I am going to celebrate my successes in life.

Thank you for reading :)